The last word: famous epitaphs, and how to write yours

An epitaph is a short line in memory of someone, usually carved on a headstone. Sometimes it’s a quote, sometimes a verse, sometimes a single word. And sometimes, gloriously, it’s a joke the person wrote for themselves, so they could get the last laugh long after everyone else has gone home.

It’s the shortest piece of writing you’ll ever be known for. Which is exactly why it’s so much fun to think about.

The ones that got the last laugh

Some people knew exactly what they wanted the world to read.

Spike Milligan: “I told you I was ill.” The comedian’s headstone in Winchelsea, East Sussex, carries it in Irish, “Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite”, so the joke lands twice. The undisputed champion of the form.
Mel Blanc: “That’s all folks.” The voice of Bugs Bunny signed off exactly how you’d hope.
Rodney Dangerfield: “There goes the neighborhood.” Still not getting any respect, and still getting the laugh.
Jack Lemmon: “Jack Lemmon in”. Read it out loud. You’ll get there.
Billy Wilder: “I’m a writer, but then nobody’s perfect.” A nod to the famous last line of his own film, Some Like It Hot.

The ones that stop you in your tracks

And then there are the lines that get you right in the chest.

John Keats: “Here lies One Whose Name was writ in Water.” The poet asked for his name to be left off his grave in Rome entirely. Two hundred years on, everyone still knows whose it is.
Frank Sinatra: “The Best Is Yet To Come.” The title of one of his songs, and the most hopeful thing you could leave behind.

Between them, they show you the range. An epitaph can make strangers laugh in a graveyard, or make them stand still for a minute. Both are brilliant. The best ones simply sound like the person.

How to define yours

You don’t need to be a poet. You just need to be you. A few ways in:

Start with what people already say about you. The phrase your mates always use. Your catchphrase. The thing you say on your way out of the door.
Think about how you’d want people to feel when they read it. Smiling? Moved? Slightly confused, in a good way?
Borrow, then make it yours. A line from a song title, a book, a film. Or a family saying that only makes sense to the people who love you.
Go small. Some of the best are three or four words. “Gone fishing.” “Back soon.” “Loved, and loving.”
Read it out loud. If it makes you grin or catch your breath, you’ve got it.
Write a few. You don’t have to choose today. Keep the shortlist, and see which one keeps coming back.

And if a headstone feels a long way off, think of it as your personal motto instead. The line that sums you up right now. You can always change it later.

Where Twentyfive fits

On Twentyfive, your epitaph isn’t tucked away for later. It sits right at the top of your Twentyfive Card, big and proud, the first thing people see. So write it now, see how it looks, and change it whenever a better one comes along. It’s your line, in your words, and the people you love get to read it while you’re still around to hear what they think. They only see what you choose to share.

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