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Here’s a privilege that doesn’t get talked about enough. At your own send-off, you get the final say on the music. No requests from the back. Nobody nicking the aux. Just the songs you chose, played to a room full of people who turned up for you. Picking the songs to play at your funeral is the last great mixtape you’ll ever make, and you can start it whenever you like.
How many? Entirely up to you. One perfect song can say it all, or you can soundtrack every chapter. The venue sets how long the service runs, and your funeral director will know what fits, but the list itself is yours. Make it as long or as short as you are, but generally the guidance is four, tops. Not the Four Tops, just four, tops.
Reading the room
Think in moments, not numbers. There’s the walk in, when everyone’s finding a seat and quietly wondering if they’ve worn the right shoes. There’s the quiet bit, for the photos and the lump in the throat. And there’s the walk out, your chance to send everyone back into the daylight with a grin. Use one, use all three, or invent a few of your own. Your call.
No rules on genre either. Hymns sit happily next to Britpop, and the theme tune from the telly you grew up on has every right to be there. If the vicar can have a hymn, you can have Metallica.
A few to get you started
Titles and artists only. Steal any of them, or better still, find the one nobody else would think of.
For the walk in: “Albatross” by Fleetwood Mac, “Gabriel’s Oboe” by Ennio Morricone, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow / What a Wonderful World” by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole
For the quiet bit: “Fix You” by Coldplay, “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley, “Supermarket Flowers” by Ed Sheeran
For the big moment: “You’ll Never Walk Alone” by Gerry and the Pacemakers, “Time to Say Goodbye” by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman, “Wind Beneath My Wings” by Bette Midler
For the walk out: “Mr. Blue Sky” by Electric Light Orchestra, “Here Comes the Sun” by The Beatles, “Live Forever” by Oasis
The songs with a story
The best picks come with a backstory. The one from the wedding. The one you murdered at karaoke. The one that was on in the car every summer holiday, whether anyone liked it or not. Picture the room, think about who’ll be in it, and choose the songs that’ll make them nudge each other and whisper “that’s so them”.
Instrumentals are lovely for the quieter moments, because nobody has to hold it together through the words. And if a song makes you laugh every single time, that’s a reason to keep it, not to cut it.
Where Twentyfive fits
The catch with being the DJ is that someone else is holding the phone on the day. Hand them the setlist. Don’t leave the playlist to your sister. Add your songs to your Twentyfive Card, put a line next to each one about why it made the cut, and add more whenever a new favourite turns up. They only see what you choose to share.
Quick answers
How many songs can you have at a funeral?
As many as the service has room for. It depends on the venue and how long you’ve got, and your funeral director can tell you what fits.
Who sorts the music on the day?
Usually the funeral director, who arranges it with the venue.
Can funeral songs be upbeat?
Absolutely. It’s your send-off, so the music can be as joyful as you like.
