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A pallbearer is someone who escorts the coffin at a funeral. They carry it, wheel it on a trolley called a bier, or walk beside it while others do. There are no rules about who can be one, and there are usually four to six of them, depending on the weight of the coffin. If you’d rather not ask anyone, a funeral director can provide professional pallbearers.
What pallbearers actually do
Less than you’d think, and the funeral director leads the way. Pallbearers arrive a little early so they can be talked through where to walk and how the coffin will be moved, then they take their place and follow the cues. These days it’s more common to carry the coffin at waist height, or guide it on a bier, than to shoulder it the traditional way. Afterwards they take their seats, often together.
If the coffin is going to be carried a long way, or you’d like a greater sense of ceremony, the funeral director can usually add more people.
Who to ask, and how to say yes
Anyone you trust: friends, family, colleagues, the people who’d make you laugh on a day when it’s needed. Any age, any gender, any level of strength, because carrying isn’t the only way to take part. Someone who’d rather not carry can wheel the bier or walk alongside.
There’s also a role called honorary pallbearer, for people you want to honour without asking them to carry. They often follow the coffin or walk with it as it’s wheeled in.
Being asked is an honour, and an honest no is fine too. Some people can’t manage it physically, and for others it’s more emotional than they’d like. If you’re the one asking, make that easy to say. If you’re the one asked, a thank you and a short reason is plenty.
Where Twentyfive fits
Who carries you, what plays, what everyone wears: the stuff that’s easy to leave unsaid, and the stuff people are glad to have heard. Add it to your Twentyfive Card as a wish, with the names you’d ask and a line about why. They only see what you choose to share.
Quick answers
How many pallbearers are there?
Usually four to six, depending on the weight of the coffin. A funeral director can help with the number.
Do pallbearers have to carry the coffin?
No. They can guide it on a wheeled bier or walk beside it.
What’s an honorary pallbearer?
Someone you want to acknowledge without asking them to carry. They usually follow the coffin or walk beside it.
Picture the people you’d want beside you. The first name that comes to mind is probably the right one.
