How to ask someone to be your gatekeeper

Pick the person you’d trust with your spare keys, tell them why it’s them, and keep it short. Say what it involves, make it easy for them to say no, and let Twentyfive set up the invite so you’re not hunting for the words.

It doesn’t need a sit-down. A walk, a cuppa or a text from the sofa all work. Start with why them (“You’re the person I trust most with this”), say what it is (looking after your wishes and your story on Twentyfive when the time comes) and give them a way out. An honest no beats a reluctant yes, and they should know you mean it. Not sure who to ask? Here’s what makes a good gatekeeper.

Words you can borrow

Swap in your own. These are starting points.

The warm one: “Hey [name]. I’ve just set up my Twentyfive, an app for sorting life’s loose ends and telling your story. Would you be one of my gatekeepers? It means looking after my wishes and story when the time comes. No rush, and an honest no is fine.”
The short one: “You’re the person I trust most with this. Would you be my gatekeeper on Twentyfive?”
The cheeky one: “Someone has to stop my send-off being all hymns. Would you be my gatekeeper on Twentyfive? You’d be in charge of the playlist.”

If they say no

Thank them and ask someone else. It’s a big ask, and a no beats a maybe that never gets answered. There’s no limit on gatekeepers, so nobody has to carry it alone.

Where Twentyfive comes in

This is the bit that’s easy to put off, so Twentyfive handles it. Choose your person and it sets up the invite for you, message ready to go. You send it from your own WhatsApp, so it comes from you. They open it, say yes or no and set up their own free account. If they haven’t replied, the invite waits, and you can cancel it any time before they accept.

Wondering what a gatekeeper is? Send them what it means to be a gatekeeper.

Quick answers

Pick one name and send the first message.